So the other night, Matt’s friend Justin snorted Vodka up his nose. He didn’t mean to, but it was kind of like the milk-coming-out-of-your-nose thing… except for grownups.
Anywho, apparently it hurt really bad, because all he could say was “buttfuck.”
So this morning, Matt farted on the cat. He said go over there and sniff the cat, and see if it stinks. (more…)
So I’ve got this problem: I was going to blog all the funny voice mails (or as Verizon calls them, “VMAILS,”) that Alley Jo has sent me in the past year or so, but I was going through my phone, and they are no where to be found. What happened to them? Are they in a better place? Tell me what you think.
But anywho, here are some I can remember by heart:
So I think the crazy sandwich lady at McCallie is mad at me. She ususally tells me how much she likes my dresses and says how her parents wouldn’t let her be a hippie and how she calls her old dear mother every day and how I eat a wrap with lettuce, cheese, bell pepper, and onion every day. But now, it’s all business. She makes me a sandwich and hands me a plate. What did I do? Did she find out she actually creeped me out a little bit? Does she think I did something I didn’t do? I’m losing sleep over this, folks.
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