So I’m warning you: This is a pretty raunchy blog, and if you’re under the age of 16, or are related to me, or are a med school admissions person, I prefer you not read this particular entry. I will find out if you do. Especially you, little Brenda. I’ll tell your mom about your myspace page…
As a sidenote, I’m wearing a bracelet that is next to impossible to type in. So I take it off. Now I can type.
So as a woman, out on her own, not living with her mother, I have learned one thing and one thing alone: tampons are damn expensive.
So I’ve decided not to menstruate ever again, or at least until I become President of the northern hemisphere and make tampons free for everyone.
Everyone except boys.
So I really don’t like changing in bathrooms. This is because I’m afraid that my underwear, or other clothing items, will fall into the toilet.
When I was 7 years old, I was staying at my papa’s house. They usually have about 20 people over there, with one bathroom and one bedroom. (They live in Hornbeak). So I’m changing in the bathroom with my underwear sitting on the back of the toilet, and next thing I know, they’re in the toilet.
Now I’ve always been picky about people putting the toilet lid down before flushing (you guys have all seen that science experiment with the blacklight.), so there was no reason for that lid to be up. I -always- put it down.
So anywho, I cried, and I made my aunt Georgia come fish them out of the toilet, and I didn’t get to wear underwear that day.
It’s a rational fear.
So really, I can’t take the credit for that. It was all Mark Hall. He also came up with this one:
Biggie Smallz would have lived if he had more Security. Get it? Like if he had more people around him, he might not have gotten shot?
Remember when Matt used to be MTSU Boy?
I asked him what he used to call me before we dated, but I forgot he doesn’t tell people things. (more…)