So I’ve owned this car since 2005. Â I paid $2,000 for it, and have washed it once in our relationship (the relationship betwixt my car and myself). Â This happened on August 27, 2009. Â When I cleaned out the inside, I made a lizt of things that I found. Â I call it A Lizt of Things I Found in My Car When I Cleaned it Out on 8-27-09. (more…)
Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category
One of those guys with the cars.
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010Zoo vs. Place of Worship
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008So although I feel as if I’ve been farting silk organza for the past six months planning this wedding (not complaining), I’ve really gotten down to it lately. I’m talking about calling/emailing vendors, and anyone who knows me personally knows how much I hate communication. After all, my -1 year anniversary is coming up (August 7), along with my birthday (August 5). To celebrate, I’ve made a Lizt of things I’d like for you to get me: (more…)
Bonnaroo Blog Parts One Through One,
Monday, June 23rd, 2008or Hey, Are You Going to Wizzie Man?
or Hey. Give Me Some Fucking Weed.
or Hey. Give Me Some Fucking Crepes.
Hair for Squares
Thursday, March 15th, 2007So the other day, I was in McCallie, and I remembered that I hadn’t pooped in over 24 hours. Then I thought about blogging, because I blog about pooping. Then I thought about what I needed to blog. Then I thought about how just about every time I start a new blog, I have to stop to poop. Then I had to poop. It was a miracle.
Wiki Wiki Wild Wild Wiz
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007So I had this other dream. This one was about Lia. She was in my dorm next to the elevators, and her ass was HUGE. Really, really huge. Like, unnatractive huge. And she was wearing one of those long denim skirts like the pentecostal chicks wear. But I snuck up behind her and grabbed it anyway.
I grabbed it real good. (more…)
Pasturized Processed Cheese Food
Tuesday, March 6th, 2007So the other day, I’m walking back to my dorm, and I see this dude. I was pretty sure he was wearing high heels, but he was -definitely- wearing shorts, so I cracked up, out loud. But as I walked closer to this unfortunate looking man, I became more aware of his footwear– they weren’t heels atall. They were boots.
But still, boots with shorts, that’s pretty darn funny. (more…)
Bears on a Hover Craft!
Sunday, August 20th, 2006So I understand that most people don’t really like pooping at work. On the contrary, when I had a job, I loved pooping at work, because, seriously, where else can you get paid to poop?
But I think it helped that -I- was the one who bought the TP most of the time, and I never bought that John Wayne toilet paper that’s rough, tough, and won’t take shit from anyone.
I forgot to write a few weeks ago when I got a postcard from my SOA (or should I say, SOB) from CUSTOMS/ Freshman Orientation. In wretched handwriting and red marker ink, it reads:
If he has a neck tattoo, I’m'on’ lick it.
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006So as Matthew was driving me up here the other day, I realized that I don’t have to say everything that I think.
But I do have to blog it.
That said, Holly Holly Holly . I have a really good impression of her now.
I love how she tells Steve what he likes.
Matt tells me what I like. Matt = Holly, Steve = Liz. That’s why we all married each other the other night.
Right after Holly and I made out.
Just kidding, Holly’s hot dad.
We really did drugs, and lots of them. (more…)
what a mighteh mighteh good man.
Friday, June 9th, 2006So I haven’t gotten much sleep in the past few days. This should make for a nice delusional blogging experience.
howdah n A seat or covered pavilion on the back of an elephant or camel.
I’ve got to get me one of those. (more…)
Don’t Eat Me!
Friday, June 2nd, 2006So a few nights ago, I offered to help an anonymous friend clean her house. Let’s call her lady.
Lady: Will you really?
Liz: Sure, I don’t have anything better to do.
Lady: Oh, Liz, I’ll eat your pussy.
Liz: *laughs*
Lady: You can’t blog that!
Just for the record, she didn’t. Sadly.
So I had this crazy dream last night. It was one of those ridiculous/ scary dreams: (more…)