Monday Bear

So Erick came over today, right as dad was dropping me off at mom’s.  I invited him in to stay for a few minutes to show him my iDog, and I just realized:  That was the first time my whole family, all four of us, have been in the same house in over four years.

Even though I really know that my parents hate each other and there will never be any kind of resolution for their dispute, and I know that my dad and my brother have hated each other since my brother’s balls dropped, it was still really nice to have everyone in the same house again.  It was for less than five minutes, but it was still really comforting.  Just like it was when I was 6 years old.

Sorry, I’m being gay. (more…)

So I’m really bummed (get it?) about Taco Bell.  I’m just ready for this whole fiasco to be over with, because I miss Encharitos.  I’m so lost now, because that’s how I connected with friends in the olden days; I have so many memories with Alley Jo and Dan at Taco Bell.

Let’s reminisce about them, shall we?

• Every time I go with Alley Jo, there’s some black guy named Peanut working.  “Hey Peanut!  We need some burritos ova here!”  Now I’m going to name my first child Peanut.
• When Dan and I went to get Tacos for that way cool party we were attending where everyone had lightsaber battles.  We ordered 15 tacos and burritos in the drive- thru, and he said, “I hadn’t eaten in three days.  Is you ready for this?!?”
• That same night when he was complaining about the price increase of a taco at Taco Bell.  “49 cents, 59 cents, 69 cents, … twenty million dollaz!”
• When I went with Matt after our mall date and someone had written on the bathroom wall, “Fuck Sushi!”

(Speaking of bathroom walls…)    (more…)

So one of my friends, who just happened to be a lady of colour, told me why alot of black girls don’t like me. It’s because black guys like me. Black guys like me because:

a.) I have red hair, and
b.) I’m shaped like a skinny black girl.

She says they don’t like me because we’re stealing their men and whatnot. That’s kind of a gay reason not to like someone, but I suppose it’s kind of like how it kind of bothers me when Matt says things about other girls, unless the other girl is my friend.

Kind of.

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So I’ve concluded that the last blog sucked and I will never ever EVER do that again. I just wanted to see what would happen if I blogged a semi- serious blog, and you know what happens? I get one comment. One measley comment. From Zephyr.

Did anyone notice that I started my blog with a similar phrase to that with which I usually end my blog?

Did anyone notice that that was worded totally weird for the sake of not ending a sentence with a preposition? (more…)

So of course Steve Irwin died.  Whoda thunk.  The guy who plays with dangerous animals was killed by a dangerous aminal.

That was going to be funny.  I made a note to blog that right when it happened, but that was last weekend, and it’s now Thursday night.  You will be pleased to know that Mattchew is giving me his old computer soon.  That means more blogtime.  That’s good news for the few people who didn’t join Holly’s Monday Bear Protesters group on Facebook.  Sonsabitches.
Things I like about school: (more…)

So I had the craziest dream last night. There was this huuuge party– Matt was there, his Mama was there, some big huge black guy was there, Cactus was there, and then a bunch of other people were there. We were doing lots of drugs, booze, and sexin’. Well just two of us were sexin’. (Me and Matt, FYI). But then the cops came, so the black guy took all of our drugs and put them atop this flag pole, so the cops couldn’t find them. Then, to cause a distraction, I threw my fancy bracelet on the tile floor. It broke into a million pieces, and then Mama started yelling at me and calling me stupid. Then the cop partied with us. He didn’t do any drugs, he just boozed.

So do you like my new banner? Matthew did it for me. He’s a genius. Click on the “Monday Bear”. (more…)

So I was just down to my skivvies, shimmying my way to cardio health, when my mom’s friend comes in. Just as I was beginning to really enjoy my new Cardio Fitness Bellydancing DVD, I’m interrupted by an unwelcome guest. And what does she say? “Put some clothes on, girl!” Right. I’ll put some clothes on if you wash the dishes. Then she has the huevos to make fun of my choice of fitness. Hey, fatso, at least I exercise. Competitive hotdog eating doesn’t count as a sport, by the way.

So if any of you haven’t realized, when I disappear for a week at a time, I’m usually with Matt. It’s that damn love and cuddling and sex and blackhead- picking that keeps me away from my blogging. And I thank all of you who sents me birfday wishes/ presents. I’ll get back to you soon. ish. And you’ll all be bloglisted. Soon. Not tonight. But soon. (more…)

So I’m babysitting right now. Four of them. My usual three, plus a 5 year old smartass. I finally got them to lie down. I put on Harry Potter and put two of them in time out. It’s been a really rough day for all of us, obviously.

I hate it when people say “needless to say”. If it’s needless to say, then why say it?
People always said “needless to say” in those Most Embarrassing Moments things in Seventeen Magazine. Remember?

I also hate it when people say “I could care less.” It really should be “I couldn’t care less.” Because if you could care less, then you actually do care a little bit.

Really, I just wish that people would think about what their expressions mean before speaking them. (more…)

So Matthew came over and suprised me. It was quite the adventure. He stayed for a few days, but left the day that my mom was coming home. What a coincidence. Anwyho, he’s still the best in the world.
You know how men are with their cars. You also know that I’m not dating a “man,” per se. (He’s better.) Matt was talking about some car, the Tesla, about how awesome it is, yeah yeah yeah, it’s pretty, it’s electric, it saves the environment, Liz hugs trees, yeah yeah yeah. Since Matthew isn’t really the car kind of guy, I figured this must be one hell of a car since he’s going on about it. I decided to do my own research:
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So the results are in… MondayBear.com is the third most popular site on the interweb, right after pr0n.com and DrPhil.com.

I’m telling you though, I’d get so many more hits if it was NakedLiz.com instead of Monday Bear… but who can resist that cute little fuzzy bear face?

So I’ve been really stressed out for the past week. I wish I would go ahead and start my period, just so I could stop this PMS mess.

Way to start out on a gross note, Liz.
While I’m at it, Matthew and Justin raised this question:
Does a Monday Bear shit in the woods? (more…)