So Alley Jo learned, and ultimately overused, a new phrase: Bag of dicks. For about two weeks, everything was a bag of dicks. (more…)
Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category
But if you’re here… then that means… Oh boy…
Friday, May 23rd, 2008I sure hope Joel remembers my name.
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 So the other day, Al Gore, Jim Wales, and John Seigenthaler came to my school to talk about the First Amendment and the Internet. John talked about Wikipedia, Jim talked about Wikipedia, and then there was a 45 minute lunch break before Al Gore talked. Not wanting to lose my seat, I sat and waited. Thirty minutes later, I realized I had to pee, so I left the auditorium to go to the bathroom. When I come out, there’s Al Gore standing in the hallway, and he said to me:
Blog: Live, from the printmaking lab!
Monday, February 11th, 2008So here I am, waiting on Matthew to finish his lithography of me in my unnawears. I really have no updates on my life, but as always, I have many a witty quip.
I Move Like a Boomerang.
Thursday, October 25th, 2007So yesterday morning, Matthew wakes me up to tell me he’s going to class. I didn’t bother to open my eyes and look at him until he had reached the bedroom door, where I spoke my first words of the morning, “You’re not wearing any pants.” Then, as my eyes focused, I realized that he was just wearing khakis.
Crazy Updates.
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007So my cats have the fleas. Well, now it’s -had- the fleas. We took them to the vet ($174) to find out that Kitty has a heart murmur. But on the bright side, they have the cleanest ears this side of the Mississippi.
Tattoos, Exotic Camping Lesbians, and One Night Stands in Exchange for Pancakes.
Saturday, June 30th, 2007So I have a new MondayBear.com contest. Anyone who gets my name “Liz” or “mondaybear.com” tattooed on their person gets 50 cents. Either that, or they get to give me 50 cents. Or both. But that wouldn’t really do much, except get you a tattoo.
Oh, and you have to pay for the tattoo.
Live, from Colleen’s Computer, it’s Early Friday Evening!
Friday, June 8th, 2007So last night, I had this funny dream where I was watching a concert at this wave pool, and there were many stoners. I needn’t worry about my safety though, because Gary Coleman and Emanuel Lewis were my body guards, following me around with guns and whatnot.
Hair for Squares
Thursday, March 15th, 2007So the other day, I was in McCallie, and I remembered that I hadn’t pooped in over 24 hours. Then I thought about blogging, because I blog about pooping. Then I thought about what I needed to blog. Then I thought about how just about every time I start a new blog, I have to stop to poop. Then I had to poop. It was a miracle.
Wiki Wiki Wild Wild Wiz
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007So I had this other dream. This one was about Lia. She was in my dorm next to the elevators, and her ass was HUGE. Really, really huge. Like, unnatractive huge. And she was wearing one of those long denim skirts like the pentecostal chicks wear. But I snuck up behind her and grabbed it anyway.
I grabbed it real good. (more…)
Pasturized Processed Cheese Food
Tuesday, March 6th, 2007So the other day, I’m walking back to my dorm, and I see this dude. I was pretty sure he was wearing high heels, but he was -definitely- wearing shorts, so I cracked up, out loud. But as I walked closer to this unfortunate looking man, I became more aware of his footwear– they weren’t heels atall. They were boots.
But still, boots with shorts, that’s pretty darn funny. (more…)