Cool vs. Gross

The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon.

That’s all

gross: milk crust

cool: cookies

gross: garbage juice

cool: sticky glue booger stuff that comes on the backs of free samples from magazines or department stores

gross: mascara boogers

cool: the smell of plastic

gross: when you’re on stage and you get a wedgie… especially in a tutu, because they’re ruffly on the butt and especially painful.

cool: the fact that Trixie doesn’t mind my morning breath

gross: drool crust left on your loved one’s cheek after a Sunday afternoon catnap

cool: finding that your jeans from freshman year still fit

gross: because and only because there is a massive rip down the bum

cool: swiffering

gross: washing dishes

cool: making the refugee in my basement do my dishes

gross: dead lip skin… especially caked with lipstick

cool: shoulder massages

gross: overpriced clothes that are really really cool

cool: clothes that you find on the clearance rack that you just LOVE and they’re so cheap because you are the only one who finds the clothes cool, like that houndstooth miniskirt I got from Goody’s for $6.

gross: tartar sauce

cool: cheese sticks

gross: mustard juice

cool: mustard farts (like the grey poupon commercial)

Just for the record, pretty much all forms of crust are gross, with the exception of pizza crust, pie crust, or between grandma’s toes crust. I mean…

I’m glad we cleared this up.

By the way, I loathe Pollyana.

One Response to “Cool vs. Gross”

  1. Bored@Work says:

    BTW houndstooth skirts are cool now.

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