So, the other day, I was thinking about what a wonderful job Kara did on my toenails. Although it was the most terribly painful thing I’ve ever endured, I’m glad I let her give me a pedicure. So as I was getting my clothes ready to take to the dry cleaners that same day, I thought aloud, “What would we do without Chinese people?”
So when I walked into the cleaners, there was an old man. Sitting in one of those metal foldy chairs. Reading the Chinese paper. Clipping his toenails. I shit you not. He was clipping his toenails before he handled my pants. Do you think maybe toenails are the new Chinese currency? I thought about leaving, but you -know- that I don’t -do- ironing.
A Very Recent IM Conversation Betwixt Matthew and Myself That Inspired Me to Blog Today.
Matthew: Justin is coming over later, so pick up any panties.
Liz: Oh, so no date night tonight?
Matthew: I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.
Liz: Oh. It’s okay.
Matthew: Okay.
Liz: Just… just… go wif Justin.
Matthew: I read that as GO WTF JUSTIN!
Liz: Ha!
“Hey, Liz. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? About as many as it took for you to get into that parking spot.”
I get very nervous when people watch me drive.
So in conclusion, I totally partied with Chelle last night. MIchelle. Branch, that is.
this one time i went to get chinese food from the guy in the mall, and the mall was about to close, and he turns around and he had one of those electric nose hair clippers in his nose. i strongly believe all chinese people are just disgusting, obviously.
are you married yet or what? and where are them babies?
Miss your verbal stylings.. come back?
so you were in my dream the other night. you came and stayed with me at my super cool new house, and i was introducing you to my friends and you always just had these incredibly witty things to say. everyone kept asking me “where have you been hiding this wonderful woman, lia?” and i would smile and say “isn’t she just great?!”
all of this after meeting you once like 5 years ago.