Sorry to ruin your first subscribed blog with a boring short story, Roberta, but it had to be done. I promise the next one will be filled with goofiness and hilarity.
On the bright side, it has sex in it.
Kind of like that one a couple months ago that none of you guys could read. Except Zephyr.
Anywho, here goes:
I took him back from my house from wherever. That doesn’t really matter. But when I was there, I chose him. It was either him or the one with the 5 o’ clock shadow, but then I noticed beard boy was wearing brown shoes and a black belt. We certainly can’t have any of that.
I gave him the look that I always give: The one that says, “I want you, but I may or may not have sex with you.” He immediately bought me a mimosa. And then another. Over those two drinks over a two hour period, he had 4 Long Island Iced Teas. This was going well.
I gave him the bullshit that I always give. I’m just out of a nasty relationship, my cat just died, and my father left me when I was 4. Vulnerable.
He was a sweet kid– nice looking, he had a cute laugh, and he was a philosophy major. So like I said, I used my charm (and cleavage) and took him to my house.
I took him to my bedroom and told him to relax, even though he was already about as relaxed as they get. Then he told me he was a virgin. My hands turned into tight white fists. I don’t know if I was excited, outraged, or both, but virgins should have to wear a t-shirt, or a tattoo, or something that tells us so. However, I played it cool. Smiling, I placed my hand on his thigh.
“Make love to me, beautiful,” he said to me. How cute.
“K, let’s fuck.”
Then we started going at it fast and hard. He was really enjoying this– he was thrusting and thrusting and banging and fucking– and I moved a little bit, too. It felt nice. Just as I was getting into it, his mouth gaped open and I felt his warmth. He kissed me softly.
“I love you.”
After he said this, I nervously smiled, put my skirt back on, and left.
Then I remembered that this was my house, so I went back inside, and in awkward silence, took John back to his car.
I mean David.