So the semester is over, the tree is up, and my legs haven’t been shaved since September. The most wonderful time of the year, you know. I do rather enjoy Christmas, X-mas, Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Kwanza, the pregnancies of my close friends, and all the freak religion wintertime holidays out there.
To celebrate my blogging comeback (blomeback), I have compiled a Lizt of minorities with whom I would have secks. I like to call it:
A Lizt of Minorities With Whom I Would Have Secks
- Tony, Ellen Degeneres’s DJ. Gay, British, black, and adorable, Tony is quite sexually appealing. Plus, his great fashion sense and dance moves make him non-threatening.
- Desi Arnaz/ Ricky Ricardo. Either way. Same thing. The sexiest Hispanic I know. Much sexier than that alcoholic ex-roommate of mine. Was he really Cuban? Who knows? Probably. At least I like to think so. At least he was one of my very first crushes. I wanted to be, and still want to be, Lucille Ball when I was a child, and what better way than to get in good with the late RR. Oh, Ricky, you’re so fine. You’re so fine, you blow my mine. d.
- The Guy From Heroes. Just because I needed a famous Asian. There aren’t many, you know. Not in the United States, at least. I definitely would not have sex with Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. Nor the chick from Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t even watch Heroes. He’s Korean, you know.
- John Redcorn from King of the Hill. Enough said.
Now just to be fair, and not to be called a “racist,” let me just say in my defense, that I would have sex with all minorities– the above are just a few of my favourites.
“The real Jesus, up in the sky with God, is a reindeer?”
- Little girl at The Olive Garden last night.
So we got a new cat. Her name is Fishstick, and she loves Kitty and Moe. Especially Moe, because she is in heat. I thank God daily that Moe is fixed.
Matt: I wish I could be in your womb.
Me: …oh…why?
Matt: So I could be with you all the time.
OH! So we all know that Alley Jo is with child, and please don’t ask her about it or make inappropriate comments. She can and will damage you. So of course, I used my very talented paws to make her not one, but TWO papooses. And here they are:
Yes, that is an Alf doll. I figured she wouldn’t want cat hair in it. So now, I will be making and selling papooses and selling them on Etsy. They are reversible!
Here is a Lizt of projects I will be making over the Christmas break. I like to call it:
A Lizt of Projects I Will Be Making Over The Christmas Break
- Multiple papooses.
- A cowboy shirt for Matt, plus multiple ones for his coworkers. Not cow-workers.
- A felt owl plushie.
- Various aprons for various friends and family members as Christmas presents.
- Decoupaging various boxes, pieces of furniture, and wall decorations.
- Baking miscellaneous baked goods.
- Making a hat for Matt’s company Christmas party. It’s gonna be tight, y’all!
Now I know that I was going to shut up about Bonnaroo, but here’s the deal. I may or may not be going in 2009. I was going to wait and see the lineup, and who all was headlining, since, afterall, it is a music festival. Well, they already put the tickets up for sale, before they have the lineup, and guess what? The first tier of tickets is already sold out.
Draw your own conclusions.
I will have to for realsies wear better sunscreen next year if I do go, because the wedding is that August. I don’t need any more freckles or sun poisoning.
My wittle baby back.Since Christmas is coming up, I think that I should put up my Christmas Lizt. Here it is:
Christmas Lizt:
< ![endif]–>
· Hello Kitty Appliances
· Air Purifier
· Golden Girls DVDs (not season one or two, I already have them.)
· I Love Lucy DVDs (not season one)
· Shelving units in very very dark brown (either wall install or bookshelf)
· Apples to Apples (game)
· Nintendo Wii
· Nintendo DS
· Curls Rock hair products by Tigi Catwalk or Aveda Be Curly
· Wedding books
· Blender
· Hand Mixer
· Filing cabinet
· One of those cat clocks with the pendulum tail
· Sewing machine case.
· Big sewing box.
· Littmann Stethoscope
· KitchenAid Stand Mixer in Pink, Buttercup (Pale Yellow), Ice Blue, Green Apple, Pistachio (Pale Green), or Cornflower Blue
· Digital Photo frame
· Cookie sheets
· Silicone baking mats
· Melting Pot cookbook
· Photo printer
· Pictureka (Game)
· Rubbermaid storage containers (big ones!)
· Highlighters
Send them to my house, please.
So in conclusion, the Alley Jo’s baby, whom I like to call, The Great Baby of 2008 or -9 will be here any minute day week year time now, and yes, he does have fingernails.