im going to write the plot to a movie, in this movie ill have nude female ninjas throwing dildo stars at zombie robot aliens from outerspace, and at the end an etheral being descends from the sky and they lower jesus down with pyrotechnics as he plays hard jesus rock, then everything explodes and Blanka from street fighter is suddenly in the foregrown and does his roar and electricty shooting then mario jumps on his head and they play the star spangled banned but backwards and everyone comes to a big dance contest with elephants and pies when suddenly alf surfs in and kills everyone with aids
I didn’t write that.
“You’re so tits.”
- Mark Hall
So I think mommy has a new boyfriend. I like him. He’s a musician. I like artsy fartsies.
Intelligence is so hot. mmm.
One time, Davo and Walter came to my house on a whim. I was naked when they came over, so I had to put on clothes. Anywho, Walter was in the kitchen eating mangoes, and Davo was talking to my mum.
Davo: Hey, Ms. Susan, Wanna make out?
Mum: With whom?
hah, you go, mom.
My mom really is hot. She looks like she’s in her mid- thirties. Alot of people mistake us for sisters.
So Butters is always… touching… me. Not sexually (does butters have sex?) But… pseudoquasisensually? It started about a week or 2 ago… he put his hand on my back. Then it turned into kind of an awkward caress. Now he asks if I want to sit on his lap. I usually let it slide, since he is so innocent– asexual, almost. But today, he definitely almost-on-purpose touched my rack. That really grossed me out. I then got away from him.
But I could just be a self-righteous bitch and that’s all in my head. Who knows. Who the hell knows.
So Hog told me today that she never really said the F word until she started hanging around me. I thought I never really said the F word until I started hanging around her. Maybe we have F-y auras.
Again, nobody told me what their fucking aura looks like.
We ate Los Portales today and Jamie got explosive diarrhea. Don’t deny it.
So I ask you: Would you rather have chunky vomit or explosive diarrhea? I’m not sure what I would do. I’ve never had either. That’s a lie.
Remember in middle school when I didn’t have bodily functions? I was so set on being delicate that I refused to admit that I had any bodily functions whatsoever. Now I’m a phone pooper. Is anyone else a phone pooper? I might have phone pooped with you and you may not know it. I phone pooped with Davo the other day and he didn’t know it. Now he does.
So on a lighter, slightly more offensive subject
Girl pants = trucker hats 2 years ago.
I know, I know, myspace is the worst possible place I could post that.
Or maybe it’s the best place to say it.
I wore my granddad’s hat a couple years ago. Then I let Kittie borrow it. Then I let her keep it. At that same time, Sean wore a trucker hat every day. It was a real one like mine. It was from DARE. People said he looked like Ashton Kutcher. No, he just wore a trucker hat. If I wear a tie and make that horrid face, would I look like Avril Lavigne? If I put on a fake moustache and smoked a cigar, would I look like Groucho Marx? If I dyed my hair blonde, wore red lipstick, got unexplained bruises, and started shooting up, would I look like Courtney Love? Methinks not.
Happy Belated VD.
So in conclusion, what is your favourite venerial disease?
Mine is syphillis, because it’s older than Jesus.