The good news is, I lost 5 pounds.
The bad news is that I lost it the hard way. No, not through diet and exercise, the other hard way. Through vomit and starvation. No, not like 9th grade Liz. Like sick Liz. Holy Gah, was I sick. I finally managed to keep down some Ramen noodles last night. (pronounced RAYmen, you idiot. This is ‘marica.) I was soooo sick. Almost as sick as I was that one time when my mum found me passed out in the bathroom. That was funny. Well, not at the time, we thought I was dying. But it’s funny looking back at it. Kind of like Viet Nam.
I had a dream that I killed a Zombie with my bare hands.
I should blog this before I forget. This happened about 2 weeks ago, but let’s pretend this was recent:
So I was at work earlier today, and I looked really freaking hot. I was wearing my Dom boots, and these really hot jeans. I went to write something down on the board in the colour room, and I did some rearranging in there (okay, my jeans were kind of tight… and I bet everyone rearranges in the color room). Suddenly, I felt a breeze. I looked down, and, alas. I had an inch-long rip in the crotch of my pants. When I was getting ready, something told me I should have worn underwear. I was mildly embarrassed. I shuffled (nice descriptive verb) to the bathroom to safetypin my crotch together. From the inside. And all I had were those big safetypins. Not only was it cold on my noonie, it was pokey. And not in the pleasurable sense. I was sweeping, and one came undone. It hurt. I repinned it and was good for the night. I don’t think anyone saw, though, because I’m sure they would have told me. I would tell you if your crotch was showing. Especially if you weren’t wearing panties.
I should have learned from that time at Paducah in the mosh pit. At least I was wearing cute panties that time.
I had a really good proposition one time, one that I had waited for my whole sexual life, but didn’t take it up, because I was wearing ugly panties. I guess I could have gone into the bathroom and taken them off.
Dammit, Liz. Now you think of it. 2 years later.
So Thursday night. What a night. More dudes showed up than expected, but that was okay. We played Battle of the Sexes, and I won. I kicked ass. Does that mean I’m a lesbian? I hope not. I like boys too much.
mmm… sid vicious… mmm…
Anywho, after the boys left, we watched Wedding Crashers for a bit. The weird boy in that movie was hot. What’s his name?
We went outside. I peed in the front yard. It’s really liberating to be naked in public. I wasn’t really naked. I had a fig leaf. An ivy leaf, but I called it my biblical underwear.
Then I called Jim from Beth’s laundry basket. What a trip.
Then I woke up in time for work. Karma is a bitch.
Speaking of, that chick wrote me again. I haven’t written her back, though. She seemed really apologetic, though.
I painted a germ with teeth. Mine and Matthew’s first child.
When my aunt was 15, she peed on a boy at the beach. He never called her back.
What was your favourite cartoon as a child? Mine was Captain Planet. Who’d have thunk? I’ve always been a tree hugger. I had the lunchbox, the valentines, the underwear (yes, they were made for boys), the teeshirt, etc. People made fun of me. Kids can be so cruel.
I got Strawberry Shortcake valentines this year. I look like Strawberry Shortcake, all grown up. And what the hell is with the jeans? Strawberry shortcake doesn’t wear jeans! She wears green and while leggings. Geez.
Same thing with My Little Ponies, Carebears, and TMNT. What the hell.
WTF, mate?
So in conclusion, you should all download google talk. It’s sooooo much better than MSN messenger. When all of the people who I care about get google talk, I’m uninstalling MSN. It is the suck.
Currently watching: A big fucking snake.