Tons o’ Fun
So you know they don’t sell Vegemite in the United States. This might explain why we have an obesity problem (see below). Anyhow, this stuff is pretty gross. I had some in the 2nd grade, and I remember it quite well. So I’ve got this idea: Vagemite.
Vagemite is a product extracted from women all around the world. It’s spread on sandwiches and consumed and is used as an aphrodisiac, hormone supplement, and tasty snack. Or should I say snatch.
I’m not really sure where I was going with that. I apologize.
I changed my mind. I don’t apologize. But I still am not sure where I was going.
“We’re getting married today! Tell me something sweet, like my smile is like the crescent moon.”
- Holly
So my last blog had a list in it titled Reasons I Hate Fat People. Much to my amusement, many people were offended (yes, offended) by my candid hostility. I would put up a link to the post, but geez, people, just scroll down.
A. I have a disclaimer up. It states that one should never, ever take anything I ever say seriously. seriously. I had a friend who was seriously offended (Southern Baptist Republican) by something I said in my blog, and we haven’t spoken since. This was over a year ago.
now her best friend is a fatty.
B. Yes, I am prejudice against lardasses. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t hate fat people in general, just the obese. This is a huge improvement. However, unless your name is Jesus Christ or Mother Teresa, you probably have a (minor) beef with a certain group of people, whether it be the fat, the Jewish, the African, the Christians, the Japanese, the Muslim, the fags (term of endearment), or the beautiful.
And I am a beautiful Christian fag hag who talks like a Jew. So beef it out with me.
C. And I -could- play the victim, just like fat people. I used to be anorexic, after all.
But since I am the Liz who I am, I have decided after much consideration and loss of sleep, to shamelessly make fun of the commenters who were offended by said post. Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to copy and paste each comment, then pick it apart and scrutinize their grammar, logic, and of course, weight.
Here’s what Aaron had to say:
I feel that you have an awesome site. The blog was good, and until i got to the fat section. I felt that was extremely rude. Now, i know its your own blog and i’m not trying to be mean. Its just that i’ve been overweight my whole life and am none of those things that you mentioned. I’ve been working for hte past couple months to lose weight and its working. 
But i just think its wrong to group ‘all’ overweight people into smelly, and mean. … just my opinion.
Now… I wasn’t sure where to start with this guy. I guess I’ll start the same place that he did:
- I feel that one should not begin a sentence with those words. Especially if the sentence ends in “that you have an awesome site.” That’s not even something you feel. You feel pain. You feel luuuuv. You feel your baby kitten’s fur. You may even feel feelings. {unless you’re fat. [just kidding. (or am I?)]}. But you just don’t feel about a blog, unless it’s one of those blogs about feelings. And mine isn’t. Unless I say it is.
- “Its just that i’ve been overweight my whole life and am none of those things that you mentioned.” First of all, I know that “it’s” and “its” are very easily confusable, but I like to remember with this little song: “If you want it to be possessive, it’s just I-T-S, but if you want it to be a contraction, then it’s I-T-apostrophe-S… scalliwag.”
And just for the record, one usually can’t smell his or her own stink. If they could smell their own stink, nobody would stink. - He spelled “the” wrong. He didn’t even say “teh”.
- He used a smiley.
- He ended with “ … just my opinion.” Now. I know I begin all my blogs with “So” and end them with “So in conclusion,” but that’s only because it’s muh thang, and I do it for the sake of good fun. But “…just my opinion.” Now those are words of a fat kid waiting to get beaten up on the playground.
- And if you haven’t already, check out his website. Three words: Britney Spears Motif.
As a sidenote, Holly, I said aloud, “I wonder how you spell Britney, as in Britney Spears.” But never fear, Liz, because our dear friend Aaron has it on his website.
Thank you, Aaron.
And we all remember Breanne:
“My cousin’s bird has pooped on me on many occasions. It’s really gross. And, I have to say that I am very offended by your reasons that you hate fat people. I’m not fat but my mother is somebody who is amongst the population of obesity and I love her very much. People give her the most obnoxious stares, or comments or suggestive sarcasm. And I pity people who cannot treat them like a human being. Because they are a person who has feelings like the rest of us. I just pray God have mercy when he punishes you for your cruelty to people.”
- This girl used to be cool. We used to read each other’s blogs all the time, but wow. I don’t know what happened.
- “I’m not fat but my mother is somebody who is amongst the population of obesity” Translation: “I am fat.”
- What the -hell- is “suggestive sarcasm?“
- “…people who cannot treat them like a human being.” Three more words: Subject-verb agreement.
- “Because they are a person who has feelings” a. Subject-verb agreement. And b. No they don’t. {just kidding [Or maybe not! (No, just kidding)]}.
- “I just pray God have mercy when he punishes you for your cruelty to people.” …Wow.
- I just stated that I -want- to be cruel to these people. I never said I -was- cruel to them.
- And even if I was… Just because I may be cruel to people, I’ve done a hell of alot for animals. That counts, right?
- Once, more when we click on her link, we don’t just find a Dancing with the Stars themed blog. We don’t just find a Joey Fatone themed blog. But we find a Joey Fatone in Dancing with the Stars- themed blog.
EDIT: No longer Dancing with the Stars: Joey Fatone. Now some band. I think.
I guess this is the wrong time to mention this, but I have a new Favourite Foods section up.
So in conclusion, I urge you, if you haven’t already, read my last post and send us your hatemail. I will always answer, or at least make fun of you. But just read the disclaimer first, fatty.
June 24th, 2007 at 12:32 AM
I don’t appreciate you when you talk about my people!
………………. well…………
Mo’ cushion for tha’ pushin…..
I love you Liz, I respect your honesty.
June 24th, 2007 at 12:56 AM
i have fat girl tatties, and a latina butt. italian flabby arms, and an english stomach. and a nazi disposition. i am not offended by any of your blogs, but it may be because i am part witch, part nazi, part illegal immigrant, and part mobster.
i hate fat people because 1. i’m afraid they will squish me, 2. i wonder what gets stuck in their folds, and 3. i’m not fat. and everyone should be more like me, of course.
p.s. the word “ovary” makes me think of you. i only think of it while ‘bating, though.
June 25th, 2007 at 9:48 AM
Goodness.
This is unlike any blog I’ve ever read before..
All I can say is at least you’re honest :] and nice subject.
June 25th, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Whilst people may not agree with what you say, at least you have the “balls” (so-to-speak) to say it. I wholeheartedly stand by you. *Bookmarks your site* I can say I’ve never been here before, but you’ve made me laugh til my sides hurt, and for that, a link to your site is very much deserved. Keep offending people, my friend - it’s always fun, and very rewarding. I hate this whole “political correctness” thing where you can’t say ANYTHING just in case someone happens to get upset. If they don’t like it, redirect them to yahoo kids or Neopets or something (not that there’s anything wrong with those sites, of course…)
June 26th, 2007 at 11:25 PM
-Long reply- (im bored)
Meh, I’m bored so I think I’ll jump in on this whole fat thing.
-It’s your blog. There is no reason you can’t make fun of fat people.
-I judge people also.
-I’m not pissy toward you about anything you said, but I like giving my point of view. If it comes off overly pissy, it isn’t meant to be. I’m just ranting.
To cover it before you post about me.
- I am overweight. If you want to jump on that… no biggy. I am overweight due to 8 months of serious depression, not because I am lazy or any other reason. You can check Matt’s year books all the way back to when I was 12 or so, I was skinny. (just to get that out of the way)
- This is the internet. This is not an English paper. I will not use proper grammar all the time. If I have a typo or if I mess up my grammar, I don’t care. I understand grammar is your thing, so go ahead and pick this apart if you must. It doesn’t make someone a moron if they don’t speak correctly in a blog comment.
How I feel about the fat post:
- Being judgemental is one thing, but you sound ignorant.
- They’re not mean to you because you’re not fat. They may be unhappy with themselves and take it out on you (you work retail, it happens), but I doubt they walk in and think “OMFG SKINNY BITCH I HATE HER!!”
- To anyone who is fat… your post is very rude. You’re allowed to be rude here, because it is your blog. If I were to hear that stuff in person, you’d have one pissed off person on your hands.
- For someone going into nursing, you should understand that there are people who cannot control their weight. (Yes, lots of people are fat due to diet and lack of activity, but not all of them) Grouping up all fat people means you are attacking people who have a medical condition. You might as well make fun of bald people in a cancer ward.
— If you’ve ever seen my mother, you’ll know she’s over weight… but guess what… it isn’t because she’s a fat mean lazy person. Have you ever heard of the Thyroid gland? (If not, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thyroid) My mother had it REMOVED when she was in her 20’s… so how easy do you think it is for her to maintain her weight?
I guess it is her fault she lacks the gland that regulates her metabolism.
About this post:
- Easy to say “don’t take me seriously” in a disclaimer, when you’re obviously serious about it … enough to make a second post attacking people for their pov.
- Yes, everyone is prejudice. I love when a supporting argument is to point out where someone else is wrong or that someone else does it also.
- Attacking a person’s grammar makes me lol. It makes it seem like you don’t have much to back yourself up, so you try to win by making someone look stupid. I love when people do that in forums.
-Feel-
(http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=feel)
***come to believe on the basis of emotion, intuitions, or indefinite grounds; “I feel that he doesn’t like me”***
I agree, lol at his website.
ROFL @ –> “I just pray God have mercy when he punishes you for your cruelty to people.”
June 27th, 2007 at 4:15 PM
tl;dr; imho, fcffaic
June 27th, 2007 at 6:53 PM
not sure what the fcffaic is
fcf =… all i could find is fat chick fucker? (which doesn’t make sense applied to me)
faic = i assume “for all i care”?
meh
June 27th, 2007 at 8:28 PM
Thank you for the complimentsss!
I won 1000 bucks on Wheel of Fortune, which is now long spent, because I have spending problems, obviously. And how I got on is a loooong weird story. Basically it was a combination of luck and the fact that a friend of mine is crazy and impulsive.
Haha I won’t touch the fat people subject… Seems a little too controversial for me to want to get involved. But yeah I don’t think I’ve ever read someone’s blog and commented about what’s wrong with it. Hmmm…
June 27th, 2007 at 10:53 PM
A little controversial for me to get into, but I hate Wal Mart for that reason cause Fatty’s every where. A little over weight is okay, but when its like hundreds of pounds and they stink its horrible. Like my friends mom is way over weight and she is diagnosed with something, but she still does stuff for herself. Even though her doctor says she shouldn’t be. She is always up and exercising and trying to lose weight, to her disappointment nothing happens. But what I mean is fat people in general aren’t horrible..fat lazy people are.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:17 AM
LOL. OH MY GOD. This was fun. I have yet to read your post about fat people, and I will simply cuz I am. LOL. Not to the point of obesity though. BUT! I don’t give a crap to whatever people say about fat people… and plus, this is YOUR blog, you are allowed to say WHATEVER you want. It’s just up to the people to decide whether to read it or not. And apparently, FAT people read your post even though it already says on the title ‘i hate fat people’. That’s their problem now right?
Nursing student eh? I’m still doing my prereq. but after fall sem this year, I will be in the nursing proper program. Blah. How do you like it? ^_^
June 28th, 2007 at 8:29 AM
This is definitely a deep topic… and everyone is entitled to their own freedom of speech and I’m glad you used it. Unfortunately if it offends anyone, then they shouldn’t come back here to your site. Of course if you love debating and you’re up for the challenge of what people have to say, then all the more power to you!!
June 29th, 2007 at 3:24 AM
Being Australian, I know why they don’t sell Vegemite in America - It’s fucking awful. Even fatties like myself stay away from it
June 29th, 2007 at 3:19 PM
Vegemite to obesity, interesting transition. Does it really matter if someone is fat? Does that change them as a person?
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:51 AM
Those are valid reasons to dislike fat people. I get the same feeling too. I mean, they’re obese, right? They complain and complain about being obese but what the hell do you see them doing? Stuffing a double cheeseburger down their fat mouths. They complain that they’re not treated equally or that they get stares. Well, of course they should. They’re not the best looking people around. What I hate the most is when girls who have more than they should wear tight fitted clothes, especially shirts, to the point where you can either 1) count each roll on their sides or 2) see their belly jiggle for 10 seconds after they stop. Disgusting.
Those generalizations you made are from your experiences. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all fat people are like that either. I mean, I hate people in general. I think they are stupid, cruel, and just… idiotic. However, my opinions don’t apply to everybody, right?
At least those people were civil to you. I had nasty people in my blog for “Overreacting” and all I can say is that those people seriously make my day because they give me something to laugh at.
Anyway, long enough of a comment. Toodles.
November 3rd, 2007 at 10:37 AM
first of all…yes, its does change someone as a person when they turn fat. ha. turn. and that fat guy…well I would like to see him “ROFL” and get back up. I am fat. We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it. I love Liz and yous are one of my best friends. i.e. my wedding. so to say that she hates fat people or is bad for hating fat people is stoopid. people are taking this too seriously. seriously. who the fuck cares what Liz posts on her dumb ol’ Monday Bear site. it doesn’t even have a dub-yuh dub-yuh dub-yuh in front of it. you’re ignorant. just fight over who I was talkin about just then.