Monday Bear

So I just woke up from this dream where there were several kitties asleep in a box. They were all about 5 inches long, and I was the same size, sleeping with them.

So when the Chili Peppers came to Nashville, I got to go. I also got to go backstage.

Man, anytime I’m going to blog, I’ve got to poop.

“How you gonna make somethin’, and then it’s gonna burn?”
- Mary

So anywho, I got to see everyone backstage but Anthony. He’s the Rivers Cuomo of the Chili Peppers, I suppose. Rivers always takes a separate bus from the rest of the band to stay away from his other fans.

One time after a Weezer concert, Rivers invited me onto his bus for a bottle of Pinot Noir and a bell pepper pizza, and we were going to play fooseball and do it and listen to cassette tapes of his old band, Avant Garde. But the next day was my first day of high school, so I told him, “Rivers, I’m sorry, but I just can’t right now. Plus, I’m only fourteen. (Actually, my fourteenth birthday wasn’t until six days after that, but whose counting.) “I’m going to have to leave you with this kiss and my panties. Call me again on my eighteenth birthday.” Then he cried and waved goodbye to me as I rolled away on my segway.

Then on August 5th, 2006, I got a call from Rivers Cuomo asking me to go back out with him. This time, we were going to go to Toys -R- Us and have a race bouncing on those Moon Shooz that I wanted so bad because the commercials were on Nickelodeon when I was 9. But then I’m like, “Rivers, I’m in love now. You had your chance. Plus, I heard on the radio the other day when I was picking up my dog from the pet day spa that you were married to one of those half- japanese girls that you like so much.” Then he asks me if he can still have my panties. I remembered that they had a period stain on them anyway, so I said yes.

That’s the last I ever heard from him.

So anywho, about RHCP… I got to meat meet everyone except Anthony. And Chad Smith was -so- checking me out. (He could be my dad.) But he for realz was. Terri told me.

But speaking of the Rivers thing, this is a true story: I’m in the KUC, and I see these two Asian chicks looking at me and talking to each other. One of them gets up and walks over to me:

Azn: Hi! How do you get your hair so natural- looking?
Liz: Um… it is natural…
Azn: Really? You don’t put anything in it?
Liz: Nope, it’s completely natural.
Azn: Oh… You aren’t who I thought you were then.
Liz: Huh? What do you mean?
Azn: I thought you were half- Japanese.

Ahem. Although that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of, I took it as a compliment. I’ve always thought Asian chicks were pretty. I have little eyes and a big mouth, but… that’s… it.

So one time, Kaitlyn and I were in Mary’s room, and Mary was calling the bookstore to see when they closed:

Mary: Hi, I was just wondering, how late are you staying out tonight?
L&K: ::laughs::
Mary: I mean, how late are you staying up tonight?
…
Liz: …open…
Mary: …Open…

So in conclusion, whenever someone uses a bathroom for the first time that I’ve already used, I always feel obligated to warn them of the bathroom’s idiosyncrasies, such as that disfigurement on Matt’s toilet seat that looks like a splash of pee or water; or how to flush the toilets in the dorm, you have to push down -and- back.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 9th, 2007 at 6:39 PM and is filed under Dating, Dreams, Language, Music, Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.