Monday Bear

So I had to read this really horrible book for English called Things Fall Apart. It’s a classic, apparently. I prefer to call it Shit Happens In Africa, because that’s really what it’s all about. Just like the Hokey Pokey.

Also, I had a Chemistry test on Monday. I thought it was going to be on Thursday, but it turns out that I don’t even have Chemistry on Thursdays.

Whoops.

rrrr

So I decided that everyone should go to college. Not for the learning experiences or beer, but for the free stuff. There are always people here trying to promote their produt. Like Vault. Vault people are always here with their vibrantly coloured vans giving us drinks. Fo’ free. And if we join clubs, they usually feed us pizza on Wednesday nights. Just like those baptist churches with their youth ministers.

Preachers in disguise.

And last semester they were giving us Quattro razors with a postcard-sized advertisement that implied that we won’t get any action in college unless we use these razors, implying that we should all shave our pubic hair.

And don’t even get me started on that.

And don’t call me Shirley.

Have you ever noticed how there’s always that middle aged person in your class who either

1. Thinks they know everything just because they’re older.
2. Agrees with the teacher and sometimes even helps teach the class.
3. Laughs at -everything- the teacher has to say.

Now I’m partially guilty of number three, but geez, I only laugh at the funny stuff. These old people laugh at facts. That’s just not right.

“Now, as a mother of three…”

So when I went to UC for Christmas break, Matt talked me into taking Barney, my “personal massager”. So I put it in one of my houndstooth rainboots to conceal it until I wanted to… wear those boots… So when I packed my things to leave, I didn’t bother putting Barney back in my boots. So when my dear friends were helping me move back into my dorm, grabbing boxes out of said trunk, barney was right there, staring them in the face. In the trunk. Of my car.

“Talk about riding dirty.”
- Erica

So in conclusion, I amazed everyone on my floor by taking a one-minute-poop– including handwashing and running to the community bathroom.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 8th, 2007 at 7:37 PM and is filed under Pooping, School. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.