Urethra Franklin
So I really don’t like changing in bathrooms. This is because I’m afraid that my underwear, or other clothing items, will fall into the toilet.
When I was 7 years old, I was staying at my papa’s house. They usually have about 20 people over there, with one bathroom and one bedroom. (They live in Hornbeak). So I’m changing in the bathroom with my underwear sitting on the back of the toilet, and next thing I know, they’re in the toilet.
Now I’ve always been picky about people putting the toilet lid down before flushing (you guys have all seen that science experiment with the blacklight.), so there was no reason for that lid to be up. I -always- put it down.
So anywho, I cried, and I made my aunt Georgia come fish them out of the toilet, and I didn’t get to wear underwear that day.
It’s a rational fear.
Moreover, I hate changing in a public bathroom, because the stalls are small, and there’s less of a floor:toilet ratio. Usually if I’m forced to change in a public restroom, I’ll change in the main part with the sinks and stuff. (People may pretend to be disgusted, but they really aren’t. It’s not like a man is going to walk in. Everyone in that bathroom has breasts.) If I just -have- to change in a stall, I’ll pick the handicap one.
I hung out with Jade the other night.
We did science.
There was also a video, but no one will -ever- see that. Matt hasn’t even seen it.
But we disgust discussed something. Remember Jenny McCarthy?
She was:
- Really hot.
- Really funny.
- Really gross.
I am:
- Really hot.
- Really funny.
- Really gross.
She had her own sketch comedy show. -I- could have -my- own sketch comedy show.
How do you get your own TV show?
For real.
Lucy: I’m tired of Ricky treating me like a trained seal. Ethel, I’m revolting!
Ethel: Now I wouldn’t say -that-.
So in conclusion, Matt says my mom’s too slimey to date his dad.
January 7th, 2007 at 4:36 PM
today i had a cute little pirate skirt on, you know, the ones that have that weird peasant-like mesh over the top of an otherwise-ordinary skirt? well, anyways, i sat down to -pee- (not “do it”) and i felt the rush a-comin’, but then i notice that the peasant-like mesh top has somehow lodged itself within the space between my thighs (which is very small -_-), so i pull it out quickly as not to pee on it, ONLY TO REALIZE that the exact thing happened in the back. well, my skirt was non-habitable after that. so i am now wearing pajama pants and my skirt is being washed.
made me think of you.
January 7th, 2007 at 5:43 PM
remember that thing that matt did in the car that one time well that happened to me today. thought i’d let you know.
January 7th, 2007 at 9:53 PM
For some reason when you were telling the story of your panties falling in the toilet it reminded me of this one time when I tripped and fell on a cactus. It was very much like a cartoon. Only painful and I wasn’t heavily inked.
Oh, and in your last blog you said you feel sorry for Valerie?
It’s not like she didn’t already know she’s a skank.
And if she didn’t already know it…
then she a -stupid- skank.
January 8th, 2007 at 9:31 AM
I found my old cellphone that has all my phone numbers that were once important in it.
And I found a strange set of numbers that made me happy.
They were numbers listed under the alias, ‘Hottieface.’
…