Lock the Catbox
So I’m really bummed (get it?) about Taco Bell. I’m just ready for this whole fiasco to be over with, because I miss Encharitos. I’m so lost now, because that’s how I connected with friends in the olden days; I have so many memories with Alley Jo and Dan at Taco Bell.
Let’s reminisce about them, shall we?
- Every time I go with Alley Jo, there’s some black guy named Peanut working. “Hey Peanut! We need some burritos ova here!” Now I’m going to name my first child Peanut.
- When Dan and I went to get Tacos for that way cool party we were attending where everyone had lightsaber battles. We ordered 15 tacos and burritos in the drive- thru, and he said, “I hadn’t eaten in three days. Is you ready for this?!?”
- That same night when he was complaining about the price increase of a taco at Taco Bell. “49 cents, 59 cents, 69 cents, … twenty million dollaz!”
- When I went with Matt after our mall date and someone had written on the bathroom wall, “Fuck Sushi!”
(Speaking of bathroom walls…) Hey, wait a minute. Encharitos don’t have green onions -or- lettuce in them. I’m going to Taco Bell tomorrow! Who’s with me! ?
And I’m not going to talk about bathroom walls until I have the interweb on my laptop agains.
Oh, Dan. I miss him. I was going to call him on my way to Union City and sing him a song, but I figured I’d wreck.
And I bet Lia is upset about Taco Bell, too. She’s Asian now. And she probably has dark areolas.But that’s beside the point.
Things I’ve gotten for xmas so far:
- Fancy blue topaz earrings with diamond accents and fancy diamondy earrings from Matt.
- Fancy blue topaz bracelet with diamond accents from Matt.
- Fancy heart shaped red sparkley necklace from Matt.
- Fancy plastic ring with a flower inside from Matt.
- Matt cleaned my car out.
- A glasses dish with a fancy notepad and pen from Colleen. I used it last night to keep score in Uno.
- An iDog from Momma.
- A pair of red shoes from Momma. I had a crisis over them until they went on sale.
- A brown shirt from Momma.
- My Life Without Me from Matthew.
- 3 scarves and a fancy jacket from Nana and Favee.
- A pair of green dangley earrings from Nana and Favee.
- A -really- fancy red broach from Nana and Favee.
- Barrettes from Nana and Favee.
- Moisturizing socks from Nana and Favee.
- An MTSU hoodie from Dada.
- A loofah from the aminals.
- Leggings from Mama, and some other stuff that I think Matt forgot to pack into my car.
- Some pencils from a church lady.
- A vacuum cleaner from playing Dirty Santa. I stole it.
- Some hair thingies and lotion from a church lady.
- Kermit’s Swamp Years from Alley Jo.
- It’s Not Easy Being Green from Alley Jo.
- Zatarans Red Beans and Rice from Alley Jo.
Remember that dream I had that mondaybear.com became the official blog of Zatarans?
Picture this: Snakes trying to make snow angels.
“I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women. Hot and strong with a spoon in them.”
- Eddie Izzard
This morning Holly called me and made me go out with her. We bought things for Steve. I picked out his coffee pot.
Holly doesn’t like R.E.M. because when she was a young girl, her priest told her that if she listened to Losing My Religion, she would go to hell.
True Story.
You know, she and Matt have more in common than Matt and I have:
- They don’t like R.E.M.
- They don’t like coffee.
Steve and I have more in common than he and Holly have:
- We like R.E.M.
- We like coffee.
That’s why we switched.
Beanswitched.
(the rain
on my windshield
looks like
a Renoir)
(c)
Then Alley Jo interrupted Dr. Phil and made me go to Jackson with her. Here are some things she said:
- “So, what happens at school when you’re there?”
- “All cats are girls, and all boys are dogs.”
And then this going-on goed on:
Liz: …like that time I ate those jalepeno poppers.
Alley: Why would you eat jalepeno poppers?
Liz: Why wouldn’t you?
Seriously, I’ll sacrifice a burning bottom for a few moments of cheesey peppery bliss.
Who wouldn’t?
…like that time I ate jalepeno poppers…
*Family Guy- esque flashback to a horrible incident in the library bathroom*
So in conclusion, they don’t make pasties small enough for me.