Monday Bear

So many of you may be thinking, “What the hells is Liz doing blowing blogging twice in one week? She hasn’t done that since high school!”

You’re right.

I dropped out of college to go back to high school. Mainly because college didn’t give me enough blogtime.

Just kidding. I just lost all ambition because of finals.

Here are some photographs documenting my college career thus far:

1. That dog is completely composed of circles. It was on a box that contained doggy steps that I got my mom for her birthday, so that she wouldn’t have to pick Trixie up every time she wanted on the bed, but then Trixie died.
2. Me in my new bedroom (painted cinder blocks) singing that song from Ferris Bueler’s Day Off. Ooohhhh yeeeeah. Notice the report tacked to my bulletin board, complete with notes from Dr. MacDreamy.
3. Me in my favourite eatery, McCallie Dining Hall.

Here’s the declination of Sister Mary Harper:

The last one is the biggest because it’s my fav. That stands for favourite. She looks like a mule on crack in the last one.

Here are some cutesy wootsie photos of me and Mattchew. We both looked cute that day, so I figured we should take pictures. This was the day of the infamous Halloween party, so stay tuned for pictures of that:

Holy Geezm, he’s sexy.

Here’s some guy’s ass in McCallie:

It was quite an adventure getting into a position to take that picture. Axe me about it.

Pete dressed up as Oolong.

Me and mommy on my first day o’ school.

Me returning from our Week of Welcome fair. I got a Monday Bear balloon animal and a “hippo” painted on my face. And there’s the bear 4 weeks later.

RoboDuck in my Biology class:

Fat male cheerleader:

Check out this guy in between me and Keri. I have no freaking idea who that is, but apparently he thought it was pretty cool that I could do that trick. We should enter this picture into that magazine that guys get to look at chicks, and in the front, they have a section where you put jackasses who funnily ruin pictures.

Me being arrested.

Various photographs of Liz, Colleen, and Courtney saying “I want to be the fust baybie in spaaaace!”

Colleen has big breasteses

“Wegotsomekidsrunnin’aroundonbikes’roundhere”

Smoking is bad, Courtney!

Us trying to be Culkinesque. It took a few takes.

So you know how baby wipes are supposed to smell like a baby? Welp, some people use them after they poop, some people use them to wash their face, but I use them when I’m expecting to get laid. You never know what’s going to happen, so I just use them to “freshen up” just in case.
Welp, the other day I was at Matt’s house, and I hadn’t showered in a few days, so I booked it to the bathroom. I freshen up for a bit, and I smell the oddest smell… American Cheese.

That’s right, folks, American cheese.

It thoroughly weirded me out. So, as any normal person would do, I sniffed the baby wipe. It definitely smelled like American cheese. Never before has my vag smelled like American cheese, and I didn’t recall American cheese being anywhere near my vag. This was quite an occurance.

So I shrugged it off, and continued wiping. After wiping some more, I smelled the baby wipe, and it still smelled like American cheese.

“Why the hells does my vag smell like American cheese?” I thought, and frantically wiped to get the nasty cheese infection smell out. I thought I had an ailment of some sort.

Then I got a great idea. “Maybe it’s not me,” I thought, and took an unused baby wipe out of the box and smelled it. It smelled amazingly like American cheese.

It wasn’t me! My vag didn’t smell like cheese! I was the baby wipes! You don’t realize how big of a relief this was for me.

Have you ever been scared to death because you thought a strange smell was coming from your body, and then found out that it wasn’t you?

Yeah. It was great.

I began to think that Matt had snuck a piece of cheese up there while I was sleeping.

So in conclusion, remember that time when you guys were doing it in the tent and you had an asthma attack and you had to go to the emergency room?

How embarrassing.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 13th, 2006 at 10:48 AM and is filed under Awkward Scenarios, Nasty, School. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.