Monday Bear

So geez louise, who would have thought I would have gone 2 weeks without blogging? You all have missed much pooping, concerts, etc. Welp, I could be eating lunch right now, but noes. I’m blogging for you assholes.

Oh, and if you tried to call me in the past two weeks, my mom has my cell phone. She’s mailing it back to me as we speak, though.

So here’s some stuff: So even though I used to do this in like, the eighth grade, I hate it when people say things they don’t mean just to sound cosmopolitan or “hip”. Example:

My theatre professor asked the class to name some of our favourite actors and actresses, and he then stated: “I realize that most of these will be movie stars, and that’s fine.” Welp, this fatass raises her hand and says, “Idena Menzel.”
Of course, Dr. Hansen is all, “I’ve never heard of her.”
She replies, “Oh, well she’s in Wicked.”
I’m pretty sure he knows what she’s up to, because he says, “Hrm. I haven’t jumped onto the Wicked bandwagon. I’m assuming you’ve seen Wicked, then.”
Then her retarded ass states, “Um… no, but some of my friends saw it in Chicago…”

…Some of my friends (Steve and Holly) saw Wicked in Chicago, but geez louise, I’m not going to pretend to love an actress who I’ve never seen in action! I’m sure what this girl did was just pick out the only name she remembered from the playbill, and say that it was her favourite actress, just to sound like she knew modern theatre.

Psht.

She’s fat.

So anywho, we went to see Broken Social Scene a few Sundays ago. It was probably my favourite concert yet in this series of concerts. They played most of my favourite songs by them, but they didn’t play Swimmer. So I sang it on the way home.

Matt said that his other girlfriend was supposed to be there, but we didn’t see her. He claims that she’s not his other girlfriend anymore, though. Psht.

That night, we were going to do it, (and I don’t mean pooping), but Matt had to finish his art project, so he told me to go to bed, and promised me morning sex. Welp, the next morning, it turned out that he had set his alarm clock 15 minutes late instead of 45 minutes early.

Lame.

But we did it the next night. There were people upstairs, so he put in the Flaming Lips DVD.

…he wanted to put in Gimme Gimme Octopus…

So the main reason I haven’t been blogging is because I’ve been testing. Biology, Chemistry, Theatre, and Trig. Gay.
“When atoms get excited, they get bigger.”

- Dr. MacDougall

So that same day, I came in to Chemistry laughing about something, and Dr. MacDreamy said, “What, is my fly on low or something?” I giggled and apologized.
I thought he was just saying that because I was laughing, but Erica said I was staring at his crotch. I don’t think I was staring at his crotch, but I could have been. You know how you stare sometimes, and you don’t mean to, and sometimes it’s at people’s crotches? I could have done that.

I told Matthew about it later that day, and I said, “I’m so gross!” He told me, “You’re not gross, you’re just horny for science.”

Holly had a bad cold about a month ago, and her vulva was killing her.

There’s this green algea we’ve been talking about in biology called Ulva. Of course, I giggle every time Dr. Rosing says ulva, but there’s this other kind just like it, except it has red pigments in it instead of green. I’m going to type this quote from him, and I want you to read it aloud:

“This is just the pink version of ulva.”

…

Of ulva. Ovulva. Oh, vulva.

One more vulva joke:

My mom was watching this movie with her class, Ghost House, or something like that, and she almost pissed herself: The kids in the movie were comparing this scary looking house to a face:

“Look at those windows, those must be the eyes.”
“Look, that must be the mouth.”
“That curtain flapping out must be the tongue.”
“Ohhh, that chandalier must be the uvula.”
“Oh, so it’s a girl house.”

: )

So Terrance had this Halloween party. It was pretty rockin’, except I was “the drunk girl.” You know, theres always that one girl at every party who’s really loud and obnoxious and… drunk. That was me.

I forgave myself, though, because I don’t really drink that often. Here are some things that happened that night:

• “Mmm, your lips taste like Jello… *humps Matt*” (And that was “serious” humping, too. Not that jokey humping I do sometimes. )
• “Money. Success. Fame. glamour’causeyou’repretty.” *points to Colleen*
• Colleen: I like you.
  Liz: Why?
  Colleen: I like you ’cause you’re not Valerie.
• “Oh, wow, baby, your kisses are like butter…”
• Liz: Oh my God, Mitch, is your daughter here?
  Mitch: Yes. (she really wasn’t. He just thought it was funny to mess with me.)
  Liz: Oh no! I’m a bad example! *cries*
• Everyone saw my panties. Not from lifting my dress up, just from laying/ falling.
• Courtney and I wrote a song.
  “Girls take pictures of each other ’cause they have red hair!”
• Colleen: I’m a better dancer when I’m drunk. *we jump with flailing arms* I’m losin’ weight!
  Liz: I’m gonna be losin’ weight tonight, havin’ sex witcho’ brother!

And many, many more, that I probably don’t remember. I was really embarrassed that I got so drunk, but Matt told me that everyone thought it was funny/ cute.

Then Tuesday night Heather, Mary, Jessica, and I went Trick-or-treating.

You’ll see pictures from both events, and soon.

What’s your favourite kind of candy? I want you to all comment and tell me your favourite kind. I think my favourite is Snicker’s with almonds. We were asked that in math class today.

Alex: I like Fun Dip.
Liz: Oh yeah, Fun Dick is good.

That’s what we call a Freudian slip.

Alex is a fun kid. Not a fun dick.

So in conclusion, Alley Jo is getting married. And instead of a kiss at the end, there will be mild insertion.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 at 5:41 PM and is filed under Awkward Scenarios, Party over here, Secks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.