Karen O’s Areola. I saw it.
So many of you know my love of the Muppets, especially Kermie.� Nothing can keep me away from my Kermie.� Welp, I’ve got these Muppets panties– they came in a pack of 5.� When I’m sitting around in my undies, I do this thing where I stick my hand down the leg of my undawears� until my whole hand and some of my arm is sticking out of the leg (yeah, it’s weird, but the ones who do this know what I’m talking about).
Welp, I was doing this the other day in my Muppets panties, and my roommate came in.� As we conversed, I began talking with my hands, therefore ripping the hell out of my panties.� I was highly saddened, but I can still wear them.� They’ll just be period panties now.
“Now if I were to put one of these ice cubes on this countertop, it would… Oh, what the hell, I’ll put an ice cube on there…”
- Dr. McDougall, re: Chemistry Demonstratiom
Oh, that MacDreamy– What a renegade…
The one on the left is MacDreamy; the one on the right is Favee.
The resemblance is uncanny, is it not?
I get very lonely at school sometimes.� All alone, with no chocolate, no TV, no computer, and no clean underwear.� You guys should send me a care package… or at least a post card.� Here’s my address:
PS:� The GD is for “General Delivery,” not “Goddamn.”
I know about this girl who had this vaginal problem:� She had a horrible smell and discharge, so she went to the doctor, thinking she had an infection of some sort.� Welp, the doctor informed her that she had maggots in her vagina. Of course, the chick, not being nasty, was like, “Why the fuck would I have maggots in my vagina?” Welp, the doctor told her that there were two different scenarios that would cause vaginal maggots (I call them VagMags for short): Her boyfriend could either have had sex with an animal or a dead person…
and he worked in a morge…
Isn’t that… horrible? How embarrassing.
I mean forrealz, wouldn’t it be horrible to find out that your boyfriend is fucking a dead person?�
Maybe I should have a Horrible Vaginal/ Sexual Story of the Week from now on. Last post’s was the hotdog.
At every high school, there’s always a rumour that some chick was masturbating with a hot dog and it broke off inside of her, resulting in her taking a trip to the emergency room.
If you kids ever hear that about someone, I can assure you that it’s not true. Unless you’re talking about my friend.
Speaking of which, there’s this girl in Matt’s class of whom I am quite jealous. Matt has a little crush on her (which is totally harmless, because like I always say, there’s a reason he’s with me instead of her) but goddamn, she’s so cute:
- She’s like 5 foot 2
- She has a cute little haircut (the same one I had a year ago)
- Perfect skin
- A�perfect body
- She dresses cute
- She’s being Yoshi for halloween
- She has a good taste in music, hence our always seeing her at concerts.
- Most importantly, she’s an art student, so she’s obviously hipper than I.
Matt always tries to make her seem undesirable though. “she doesn’t have boobs or a butt like you.” “she doesnt have any hair. your hair is pretty. she shaves all hers off” etc etc etc.
So I just took a poop in the honors building two days in a row, and let me tell you: The bathrooms in the honors building are a zillion times better than the stupid- people bathrooms:
- They have two- ply toilet paper… with indentions…
- The dirty tampon holder thing is beside you instead of above your head, so I don’t have to stand up to dispose of such items.
- It’s pretty.
I think when I run out of my TP stash, I’ll start doing all my pooping here.
“Sometimes when I’m looking at naked ladies, I get exhausted.� But then I get my second wind, and I’m ready for more naked ladies.”
There was a�large black man sleeping in my room the other night.�
No, seriously, there was.
Heather: I really wish Todd would call me.
Liz: Oh yeah? I really wish your ass would call your face and tell it it wants its nose back.

So in conclusion, my boobs are probably better than yours.� Seriously.�


October 20th, 2006 at 12:52 AM
Whatever. My boobs will eat your boobs!!!
October 20th, 2006 at 2:04 PM
I don’t know, my tits are pretty sweet ass.
…
October 20th, 2006 at 4:08 PM
i can’t lie. your boobs are better than mine.
October 20th, 2006 at 7:31 PM
Psh. Whtevr. Frrlz.
October 21st, 2006 at 1:58 AM
Konstatine randomly started playing on Walter’s computer and it made me cry.
I didn’t even know it was on his computer. Haha.
…
October 22nd, 2006 at 3:40 PM
i like your boobs. im liking the awful sex stories, also.
October 23rd, 2006 at 8:02 PM
“LIFE IS JUST SO BRIGHT! WITH FLOWERS AND SAUSAGES!”
-That fat kid on WifeSwap.
October 23rd, 2006 at 8:07 PM
Was that VagMag stroy about Holly Tittle?
October 27th, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Liz.
I expect you to send me a message in 5 days or I shall self destruct!
…
October 29th, 2006 at 7:06 PM
Lizzie… the hotter half of the silph if I may say so myslef and not offend my Jessica. I cannot judge racks since I’ve only played with hers and not yours truley but I look forward to the menage a trois. w00t w00t
^.^
October 29th, 2006 at 8:36 PM
I love the horrible sex stories. And we had the same rumor about the hot dog in high school. But, hey, doesn’t everybody?!
October 30th, 2006 at 6:53 PM
wherefore art thou? im in desperate need of some good blogguns.
November 1st, 2006 at 2:29 AM
*blushes at cody’s comment*
Mmm, mmm, mmm… MacDougal is like, MacYES!
and honors pooping is a privilege we -must- maintain here at MTSU. really.