July 3rd, 2008
So my dear friend Zephyr is usually a counselor at Girl Scout Camp right about this time of year, but decided to take this summer off to explore herself. To join the Peace Corps. To write a cookbook. Catch up on school and take a few classes at MTSU. To avoid cleaning my house, and because I missed her, I wrote her a letter the other day on one of those giant pieces of papers they wrap your fragile stuff in when you buy it. In this case, it was a flower pot.
And Zephyr, please don’t read this until you get the letter, as that would defeat the purpose of the letter.
Anywho, here is the letter:
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Posted in Pooping, Secks, Breasts | 2 Comments »
July 3rd, 2008
So I noticed that my previous blog, the Bonnaroo Blog, received a lot of negative feedback. If any of you old school Monday Bears recall the Great Obesity Fiasco, as it will hereon out be formally named, I am obligated to make fun of any gramatical or logical mistakes in aforementioned Bag of Dicks posts. Sorry, it’s policy. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Babies | 14 Comments »
June 23rd, 2008
or Hey, Are You Going to Wizzie Man?
or Hey. Give Me Some Fucking Weed.
or Hey. Give Me Some Fucking Crepes.
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Posted in Music, Party over here, Pooping, Dance, Breasts, Food, Nasty, Travel | 42 Comments »
May 23rd, 2008
So Alley Jo learned, and ultimately overused, a new phrase: Bag of dicks. For about two weeks, everything was a bag of dicks. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Dreams, Babies, Food, Language | 1 Comment »
April 2nd, 2008
 So the other day, Al Gore, Jim Wales, and John Seigenthaler came to my school to talk about the First Amendment and the Internet. John talked about Wikipedia, Jim talked about Wikipedia, and then there was a 45 minute lunch break before Al Gore talked. Not wanting to lose my seat, I sat and waited. Thirty minutes later, I realized I had to pee, so I left the auditorium to go to the bathroom. When I come out, there’s Al Gore standing in the hallway, and he said to me:
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Posted in Dreams, Awkward Scenarios, School, Breasts, Nasty, Language | 9 Comments »
February 24th, 2008
So I’ve got this idea: They should have ride-on vacuum cleaners. Like the lawn mowers, you know. I wonder why they don’t. It would make cleaning much more exciting, making my house much more clean.
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Posted in Google, Awkward Scenarios, Dating, Television, Language | 9 Comments »
February 11th, 2008
So here I am, waiting on Matthew to finish his lithography of me in my unnawears. I really have no updates on my life, but as always, I have many a witty quip.
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Posted in Dreams | 7 Comments »
January 1st, 2008
So my New Years resolution is to keep track of mine and Matthew’s money (ours?), because I don’t right now. And if someone were to steal my identity, I wouldn’t even realize it.
Because I’m that loaded.
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Posted in Pooping, Game, Party over here, Awkward Scenarios, Dating, Family | 9 Comments »
October 25th, 2007
So yesterday morning, Matthew wakes me up to tell me he’s going to class. I didn’t bother to open my eyes and look at him until he had reached the bedroom door, where I spoke my first words of the morning, “You’re not wearing any pants.” Then, as my eyes focused, I realized that he was just wearing khakis.
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Posted in Awkward Scenarios, Dreams | 4 Comments »